Second and third edition?

After much thinking, I realized, I don’t want my daughter to be an only child. I’ve always wanted a big family and I love being a mom. I had hoped to be one of the “Lucky” ones (as I’ve termed them) to start a family in my 20s. My plans didn’t happen the way I planned. Now, I’m starting in my 30s. Better late than never. So, I’m waiting to have another daughter and son. Three is an odd number, I know. If we are blessed with a four, that’s great. For now, we are concentrating on two additions to our small family.

We decided to go international. This wasn’t a random decision. In fact, it is something we have spoken about off and on for nearly nine years. The next step is to narrow our countries down to one then, find an agency.

Welcome to my world!

Welcome to my wonderful world of motherhood. First, let me just say, the journey has been rough, long, hard, and extremely emotional. My daughter was born on December 25, 2011. The best Christmas gift I could ever hoped for. Now, ten months later, she is a blessing and joy I cherish each day.

I know, to many, motherhood came easy, to others, it is a long road similar, if not the same as mine. As I think on the future, I know that I want at least two more children. How I become their mother, whether through adoption or birth, the road will be a hard one and I hope, not a long eight year road.

There are many websites, blogs, articles, and people who talk about what they have done, where they are, and what they are currently going through. While I hope this will not be just another blog, I hope that those feeling despair and loss with find a thread of light here and not give up hope as I did numerous times. There were days when I felt as though I would never be a mother and others when I ranted at the injustice of my inability.

I prayed, I cried, I screamed, and I raged. You must understand, I am extremely emotional and not having a very good support system did nothing to help my situation. It is extremely important that you have a good support system. Staying positive and hopeful is very hard, especially when everyone around you are becoming parents while you are trying everything or hoping for an ounce of luck.

I never believed, after a while, that I would be a mother. Now, eight years later, I am. After the miscarriage of my first child in 2003, I can honestly say, the journey is not easy, but the rewards at the end will make you appreciate what you have been through to become a parent.